This year has been one of huge transformation. I've experienced a full range of emotions, challenges, and rewards from personal growth, business development, boundary setting, heart ache, healing, pure bliss, fear, anger... pretty much everything! And I am so, completely grateful for ALL of it. Because these are the things I have CHOSEN to face. These are the experiences that will shape me into the person I want to be, & help me create the life I have always dreamed of.
One very pivotal moment for me recently was coming to terms with resentments. It's easy to place blame on other people or situations for our unhappiness & current circumstances. For me, I found myself feeling resentful towards my ex husband. Towards old bosses. Towards friends that have hurt my feelings. And I chose to let those experiences define me & use them as an excuse for why I haven't reached the goals I had for my life.
These grudges I was holding on to were showing up in my life as stress, anxiety, irritability, and impatience. It finally got to a point where I called my mom sobbing because I was battling my toddler at bedtime which had seem to become the norm. Karly was feeling & reflecting all of the tension built up in me.
This year, I've learned that what we blame others for is deeply rooted within ourselves. So I grabbed my pen and began to write. The grudges I was holding against others were really grudges against myself. I resented my past self for never tuning into what I truly wanted. For letting others decide what was or wasn't possible for my life. For always settling in order to avoid conflict. For not speaking up for myself because I feared being abandoned or ridiculed. The list was longer, and much more personal.
But once I identified where these resentments were coming from, I was able to heal them for good. I forgave the younger me, and I told her what I wish I would have known then. I thanked her for the lessons. And I set her free.
A lot of times people stay stuck where they are because it can be scary to look in the mirror and be totally honest with themselves. It's easier to deny the root issues and to blame everyone and everything else. But in order to experience freedom, peace, and to grow we have to put in the work. There is no light without dark. No highlights without shadows. Everything we desire to be, do, and have is on the other side of the fears holding us back.